My Aunt passed away yesterday. She had a long but troubled life battling a weight problem and a misdiagnosed form of schizophrenia, which resulted in her living most of her life as a recluse and a shut-in. My mom was a single working parent during most of my childhood and my aunt lived with us to help raise us. Besides my grandmom, she was the only one in my family that I could relate to and she was instrumental in helping me find my creative path.

She loved TV and her favorite show was the original StarTrek, how cool is that?. She introduced me to everything from Adam 12, The Rat Patrol and Emergency One to Lost In Space, Six Million Dollar Man and Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot. One of my favorite memories was during the summer she would call me in from swimming in our neighbors above ground pool (which was rare in our neighborhood) to watch Space Angel and Captain Scarlet. I would sit on the floor, soaking wet in my bathing suit shivering from the air conditioner memorized by the fantastic visuals of both those shows. She would watch with me just as enthralled. Even as a recluse, she would get someone to drop her off at the movie theater when there was something playing that she just had to see. I remember they took the first season of the original Battlestar Galactica and released it as a movie in the theater for a short time. My aunt went by herself and she stayed in the theater after it was over until the next showing and watched it a second time because she loved it so much.

When my mom used to try to punish my bad grades in school by taking away my comic books, my aunt would hide them for me and sometimes smuggle me a new ones. We would spend Saturday afternoons reading comics and watching Dr. Who. My love of all things superhero comes from her. My mom couldn’t tell the difference between Spider-Man or Superman but my aunt did as well as their alter egos. I would lend her my comics to read and then we would talk on the phone discussing them like a bookclub. We were close during most of my formative years but she never forgave me for moving out of the house when I was 18 and not talking to my parents for almost 5 years after that. I didn’t see her much these last few years and we never got a chance to reconcile…well I guess we had chances but never took them because we are both stubborn.

Jenn and I went to see her on her deathbed, she looked so sickly that I barely recognized her. She was on alot of pain medication and could barley open her eyes or talk. I am not even sure she was aware that we were there. She did open her eyes at one time looked at my mom and struggled as she very hoarsely and quietly said “I’m sorry”. I felt awful because I wanted to make sure that she understood what a positive and profound influence she had on my life, but I am not even sure she even recognized me. She shouldn’t have passed away thinking that she had to apologize.

She did make alot of friends in the retirement community she lived in and probably had more friends there than most of her life, so I am happy for that and that she went peacefully. I am sure she will be rewarded in the next life for the struggles she endured in this one. Rest in peace, Aunt Sondra…you were loved.